This above definition is easy enough, although it doesn’t fit nicely into the four-pillar arrangement of nonreligious emotional intelligence. Being emotionally smart by understanding when and how to reveal emotion indicates an acute level of personal and social awareness and management.There is a crucial test. Can we react to each circumstance in the ideal psychological way?
Do we weep with those who are weeping? Do we rejoice with those who are rejoicing? Can we weep with ourselves? Can we commemorate within ourselves?
These are all vital hints regarding how mentally smart we are. And, furthermore, these are indicators of how in touch we are with our inner selves.
And how are we to find out when to be ’em otional’ when not to be?
EMOTIONS MUST ALWAYS BE FITTED TO TRUTH.
Feelings are constantly all right, and suitable, when they are in alignment with reality.
This is not to say that our feelings will be met the approval of others. Lots of others might feel unpleasant at the discussion of our emotion. For some, feeling is disarming, for others it is enchanting, and for others, once again, it is bewitching. But when we react emotionally inning accordance with the broadly-expected reality our emotions will resonate with a minimum of some.
In some situations emotions obstruct, like in business, and we would be best to exercise psychological self-restraint. But in other situations, like when there has actually been a loss in the family, we would appear numb if we didn’t respond emotionally.
Another essential test of true psychological intelligence is the level of instinctual reaction. Do we react intuitively, and without thought, or is it a put-on? Is it natural or spontaneous?
Of course, if our feelings are to come as a direct reaction of the broadly-accepted truth, rather than our own personal maladaptive reality, we will be emotionally smart. We will have reacted as a fully grown individual would. We see here that fact is only worked with in the relational context of what could be broadly accepted.
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE IS A RELATIONAL CONCEPT.
As we relate with ourselves, and others, and our God, the test of our understanding is the adroitness of our psychological response in each moment.
Emotional intelligence is, for that reason, a relational concept. It requires the byplay of transaction. By it, a relationship can be rated on its performance – the congruence in between the 2 or more parties to it. We either relate well with ourselves, or not so well. We either relate well with others, or not so well. The very same is real for our relationships with God. And if our feelings are askew, and they are responses not fitted well to the reality of the minute, we are not relating, and, for that time, are not emotionally smart.
Emotional intelligence is for that reason a moment-by-moment proposal. We can lose it or we can acquire it. Our efficiency has form. We can be in kind or out of kind.